|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
| |
Beliefs,
Attitudes and Responses to Conflict |
|
|
|
 |
| |
Let's
say that you have just been hired as a process engineer
in a manufacturing plant, and soon afterward your supervisor
shouts at you during a meeting, criticizing you in front
of your colleagues. What do you do? You have three choices:
you can confront your supervisor; you can do nothing and
hope that it never happens again; or you can quit.
The first option is the most practical and realistic,
but confronting a supervisor is daunting. If you handle
it well, though, you can come out of a bad situation a
winner, with your job and your dignity intact. In fact,
the situation described above is a true story; the woman
to whom it happened told her boss the next morning that
he had a right to give her feedback, but only in a normal
tone of voice and only in private. Although his initial
reaction was to start yelling again and accuse her of
being "soft," she kept repeating what she'd said until
eventually he calmed down. After that they were able to
resolve the situation, and to handle subsequent differences
of opinion calmly and respectfully.
Many people wouldn't do what that woman did - not because
they are not able, but because they have not learned how
to negotiate. People are not born good negotiators, and
many people are uncomfortable with conflict. In order
to be a successful negotiator, though, you must set aside
your discomfort, objectively try to assess your own beliefs
and your response to conflict, and develop constructive
ways to get past it. That way, when conflict arises, you
can determine the nature of the conflict, as well as your
investment in the outcome of the conflict's resolution,
so that you can be a more effective negotiator.
| "Keep
in mind that most conflicts are not about one person
being right and the other person being wrong." -
Lawrence D. Schwimmer, Author of "The Art of Resolving
Conflicts in the Workplace" |
The way you respond to conflict depends on your culture,
your personality, and your past experiences with conflict.
Take a personal inventory to learn more about your personal
style, by asking yourself questions such as the following:
 |
How
do you feel about negotiation? |
|
Do
you want to get it over fast? If so, you may give
in too quickly, or give away too much. |
|
Do
you want to win, no matter what the cost? If so,
you may become adversarial and damage the relationship. |
Once you identify your own negotiation style, you must
learn to adapt it to your circumstances. If you tend to
respond competitively to conflict but a situation calls
for an accommodating approach, you will be much more likely
to achieve your goal if you are able to be more accommodating.
Similarly, recognizing your own style can help you address
your weaknesses: if you know that you dominate conversations,
for example, especially when you are trying to win a point,
then it behooves you to develop constructive communication
and listening skills. Visit the PPC Module Communication
Skills for guidance and tools to do this.
The ability to be flexible and to grow will enable you
to avoid the negative emotional reactions that often derail
negotiations. If you decide in advance what you are trying
to accomplish and how you will proceed, you will have
a better chance of maintaining the self-control you need
during difficult negotiations.
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
